Why I fail to make Emotional connection?

I always feel behind when it comes to a social gathering like partying or any get-together, as a result I feel less connected with others, even not with my relatives. 

I feel less expressive and overwhelmed when I cannot express my emotions adequately as others expected me to do.

People call me oversensitive because I cannot handle my emotions properly. So sometimes they hide the things from me, because I will overreact on the issues.

Surprisingly, how can some people hide or overpower their anger, fear, hate, sadness, awkwardness, boredom, and much more emotion? And where I am lacking?

Emotions that lead us to do wonderful achievements in this world, Emotions that make us human and emotions that connect humankind, then how do these emotions make us powerless? 

How can we make ourselves more thoughtful and intellectual to handle our emotions like a pro?

What is Emotional Intelligence and why it is important?

Emotional intelligence(EI) is a way to handle emotions when a person loses grip on the situation and reacts to it. 

EI is the ability to positively recognize, understand, and manage our emotions. It is the beauty of mankind to express empathy when other’s are in need. Moreover, it gives you the power to communicate effectively and convey your thoughts and feelings, and at the same time recognize and understand the feelings of others.

Emotions Intelligence is as powerful as Intelligence Quotient, but high IQ gets weak when a person’s emotions overpower them and make them withdraw from the situation. On the other hand, it plays a significant role when a person tries to achieve goal in life.

In another term, EI or Emotional Quotient is being aware of the emotions that drive our behaviour and impact other people positively and negatively, and learning how to handle our and others emotions who are close to you. Managing emotions is especially gets essential in situations when we are under pressure.

The origin of the term Emotional intelligence

The term emotional intelligence was created by, Peter Salavoy and John Mayer in their article “Emotional Intelligence” in the journal Imagination, Cognition, and Personality in 1990. It was later popularized by Dan Goleman in his 1996 book Emotional Intelligence.

The 4 attributes of emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence consists of 4 key attributes: 

1. Self-awareness 

Recognizing your own emotions will help you to understand where you are lacking or slipping in any situation. Sometimes we lose many opportunities because of our temper and related behaviour. If we know our weaknesses, we can control our thoughts and actions.

2. Self-management 

If you know in which circumstances you lack in handling your feelings and related thoughts? Where your sentiments are overpowering you? This observation will help you to control your overpowered thought and emotions. Losing temperament and action may hurt you and others emotionally and physically, so self-management always helps you to monitor your emotions and aggravated actions. Meditation is the only way to control your thoughts and actions.

3. Social awareness 

Once you start working on your emotions and thoughts, you can easily understand other’s people’s concerns and needs. This will make you a more polite and gentle person, which will help you build a better understanding with others.

4. Relationship management 

Handling emotions will help you to develop patience, respect and trust for the other person, and these are the essential part of any good relationship.

4 Critical areas of your life where EQ can affect

Emotional Intelligence or EQ has an essential impact on every part of your life.

1. Your performance at work

Emotional Intelligence helps you navigate the workplace’s social complexities, lead and help others, and get success in your job. In fact, when estimating job candidates, many companies now see emotional Intelligence as a crucial technical ability and require an EQ test before hiring the candidates.

2. Impact on physical health

 Suppose a person is taking too much stress and not able to handle the negative feeling or emotions. In that case, they welcome all health-related problems like high blood pressure, heart problems, indigestion, and weak immune system. So the first step to a healthy life is to manage and learn how to release our emotions.

3. Impact on your mental health

Uncontrolled stress and emotions always lead us to anxiety, fear, and sooner or later, this habit leads us to depression. Releasing tension is as important as removing food waste and toxins from our bodies.  

 4. Your relationships

By recognizing and admitting emotions, you open yourself to healthy communication in your relationship.

Emotional Intelligence enables us to express any feelings, and at the same time, a person gets to know the feelings of others. Low EI makes people self-centred and less sensitive about the problem of other’s which leads to a relationship problem. 

A note for my readers

The story I told you at the start of this post is my own story. A few years back I used to be like that still, I am working on it. This is my journey of Emotional Intelligence which I am sharing with you. Feel free to share your story with me. I always get motivation and encouragement when I get a response back. I will always try to get the more useful post to help you and help myself at the same time.

Thank You.

Related Topics– How I build my Emotional Intelligence

What is Emotional Stamina and how to build it?

References:

Emotional Inteligence – Why it can matter more than IQ ‘A well-written and practical guide to the emotions By DANIAL GOLEMAN

Emotional Intelligence – How to improve your emotional intelligence and “people skills.” (MindTools)