The way I perceive myself is affecting me

Whenever I go out for my evening walks, I usually notice that I am not confident whenever I encounter other office-going ladies in smart walking attire. I wonder why I feel uncomfortable even though I am in full walking attire and nobody has commented ever about my appearance and looks. Probably because I am a homemaker and they are office-going professionals. This thought always bothers me; hence, I did research about it and found that it’s just my perception of myself. 

So what is this perception, and how does it forms? Let us discuss it. 

As per the definition given in the Cambridge dictionary, perception is a noun meaning “a belief or opinion, often held by many people and based on how things seem.” When we think about ourselves, the information we gather through our environment and the action is taken helps to create an image of our character traits, likes, and dislikes is called Self-perception.  The way we think affects the way we do, and the action result will always make an impression that this is my characteristic; “this is me.” 

Factors that affects our self-perception 

The forces around us called society in which we live, our family, our culture, and media play a crucial role that directly and indirectly affects us. It influences our thoughts and gives us feedback on our image, and at the same time, it gives positivity and negativity in our thoughts. When the views get change, we change.

Self-perception is a gradual making process from childhood till now; it works continuously on making our personality. It affects our thinking process; and gives positive and negative traits of our image.

The way we see ourselves from other people’s eyes, we develop a positive and negative self-image. We start evaluating our traits and abilities that hammer on our happiness, success, and social activities, where we find it hard to communicate with other’s with confidence, We starts thinking about our physical appearance, our performance, and our importance in other people’s life.

Whereas positive self-perception give us a positive image, confidence, and high self-esteem, the negative self-picture down our confidence and self-esteem.

Causes of negative self-perception

Negative self-perception always takes place when you frequently start negative self-talk to yourself and when it happens often. Negative self-talk always limits your ability to believe in yourself and the possibilities of success.

Causes of negative self-perception

  1. The up bringing of a child where parents are more demanding and critics – That gives impression to a child that he or she is not capable enough, and less talented or not good enough of giving his or her best.
  2. Bad influencers friend circle – The society good or bad will always affects us. Good friends influence us to explore and achieve in life, face the challenges with strength, whereas bad friends limits us from being open to the opportunities.
  3. Stressful life events like divorce and loss of loved ones – Some life events like death of loved once or divorce may give hurtful moment where we face trauma and depression that causes us to develop negative perception toward life and ourself.
  4. Abuse – Abuse at any age depressed us and we start repeatedly thinking about it, that create overlapping of negative self talk like why this has happened to me and this feeling of getting disrespect create a negative self- perception about ourself.
  5. Poor performance in academics – When a child is not performing well in academics and the rest of students are doing well that create a impression to a child that he or she is not that intelligent like others.
  6. Unrealistic goal setting and unable to achieve the goal – Unrealistic goal setting and failure always gives negative thought of not capable of achieving success.
  7. Long-time health issues and depression – Long time illness and depression makes us feel that there is no happiness in life, depressed person always think there is nothing has left in his or her life no enthusiasm and no motivation.

The harmful effects of negative self-talk

We never know how thoughts are affecting us badly; when rumination and self-blaming habits start on every unfavorable incident, that time we start inclined toward mental health issues.
Negative self-talk continuously decreases life’s motivation and enthusiasm; this leads to low self-esteem, which gets linked to “depression.”

Those who frequently get this harmful self-talk habit quickly get stressed, even in minor issues. They miss seeing opportunities around them because they get tangled in their thoughts, which does not allow them to free themselves from negative self-talk.

Other consequences of negative self-talk will be:

  1. If you start believing that you cannot do anything right, it will be true because you are negatively programming your brain.
  2. Negative thinking people will never be satisfied with their performance; they will desire perfectionism in all their work, which will make them restless.
  3. Negative self-talk affects not only the mind as well as serious health issues.
  4. Negative thinking people always get the relationship problem because their behavior is not welcoming for any criticism.

How to improve my self-perception

Life teaches us from all its angle, its depend on how we are taking it as a valuable life lesson or curse.
If you take it as a valuable lesson, you will learn from it, but when you take it as a curse, a minor issue will behave like a curse. We can boost our self-perfection and can handle small steps to work on our positive self-talk behaviour.

  1. First, we have to know about “who am I.” What is my life’s purpose? Just grab all your energy within you and feel the almighty power within you. 
  2. List down all your positive qualities and bring your focus on it.
  3. Take the help of your family members and friends to learn about your qualities and habits that they like most and why.
  4. Prioritise your time and engage yourself in healthier lifestyle choices, so there will be no guilt for wasting time, and this way, you are limiting yourself for negative self-talk.
  5. Set small goals and objectives that will help you to achieve them quickly.
  6. Positive thoughts always make you feel good, whereas negative self-talk will give you guilt; always watch your mind where it is taking you; if it is going toward the negative side, redirect it to the positive side.
  7. Refrain from comparing yourself with others, focus and enhance your qualities.
  8. List down all your strength.
  9. List down your achievements in which you are proud of.
  10. Pen down your skills, talent, and hobbies; spend more time with your hobbies when you feel more tangled in negativity.
  11. Make a list of the occurrences where you have overcame any adversity or you have stood for the right things.
  12. Adopt healthy habits, do exercise daily, and enhance your lifestyle.
  13. Meditate at least 10 minutes daily; meditation is the charging of your mind, body, and soul. 
  14. The repetitive sound of natural activities like flowing water or falling rains help in connect with oneself as it can induce a type of light hypnosis or deep relaxation to your body to fall deep into meditation that eventually be helpful in relaxing your body, mind and soul.

The Power of meditation for positive mind

Meditation helps to relieve stress and improve concentration. Meditation is essential to untangle your thoughts and get more clarity. In addition, meditation makes the decision process more manageable. Meditation makes your mind more relaxed, so that will help you understand any situation in a better way or in control manner.

What Meditation does to your brain

Meditation thickens the brain’s pre-frontal cortex; this brain center manages the higher-order brain functions, like increased awareness, concentration, and decision-making process.

Regular meditation practice 10 minutes twice will help increase higher-order brain function stronger, and lower-order brain activities get decreased.

Benefits of Meditation

Mental Health Benefits

  1. The most crucial benefit you get after daily practicing meditation is living in today or be present.
  2. Meditation helps you to release your stress quickly without making you out of control.
  3. Meditation helps to centralize your energy and thoughts at one point where you can evaluate those thoughts or feelings to make the right decision for your future.
  4. Meditation helps you to deal with memory loss illness and sharpen the memory.
  5. Meditation boosts up the lower self-esteem naturally because it will help you replace your negative thoughts with positive ones.
  6. Meditation increase the patience and tolerance power.
  7. A person gets a new perspective toward life.
  8. Build new skills to manage stressful situations in life.
  9. Meditation will help you to meet with the real you.
  10. Meditation will bring spirituality to you, the purpose of your life, and the truth that you are unique with all your abilities.

Physical Health Benefits

There are several physical health benefits that you will get when you will do Meditation regularly.

  1. Improving breathing efficiency.
  2. Improve your heart health because it’s working on your negative thoughts.
  3. Helps to make your brain healthy and memory sharp.
  4. Increases pain threshold, and helps you to control pain.
  5. Make your gut healthy and reduce irritable bowel syndrome problem while reducing your stress.
  6. Helps to fight against addiction.
  7. Improve your sleep duration and sleep quality.
  8. It can decrease your high blood pressure because it controls your anxiety and panic attacks.
  9. Meditation helps you balance your energy inside you, balance your energy, and balance your life.
  10. Meditation will help a person with serious health issues like Alzheimer’s, Cancer, and heart-related problems.

Essential tips on how to be more positive

  1. Practice mindfulness daily.
  2. Show your gratitude to your loved ones.
  3. Surround yourself with positive people.
  4. Pay attention to your thoughts.
  5. Engage yourself with creativity.
  6. Make realistic goals and stick with them.
  7. Spend quality time with your family and little children.
  8. Do exercise and Meditation regularly.
  9. Eat and sleep on time for better wellbeing.
  10. Be kind and always Optimistic about your life.

What successful personalities said about positivity

Great personalities and leaders become Successful because they understood the power of optimism and keep themselves away from negativity and overcome their failures. Some of my favourites are:

Abraham Lincoln:

16th President of the United States, he was an American statesman and lawyer who led the United States through the American Civil War—its bloodiest war and perhaps its greatest moral, constitutional, and political crisis.

Many of life failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.


Mahatama Gandhi

This man require no introduction, He was the leader of India’s non-violent independence movement against British rule. His non-violent civil disobedience inspired future world leaders like Martin Luther King Jr. and Nelson Mandela. but do you know as a young man, Mahatma Gandhi was a poor student and was terrified of public speaking.

Be the change you want to see the world.


John Wooden:

John Robert Wooden recognizes the power of optimism in the early days of his career that helped him to become the greatest coach in American history. Who directed the University of California at Los Angeles (UCLA) to win 10 national championships.

I believe one of my strengths is my ability to keep negative thoughts out. I am an optimist.

John Wooden

Promise yourself that you will talk health, happiness, and prosperity as often as possible.

John Wooden

Steves Jobs:

We all know the accomplishments of the visionary Steve Jobs in the field of Technology and innovations. but do you know that Steve Jobs was got fired in 1985. He returned to Apple in 1997 to help make Apple great again.

Have a courage to follow your heart and intuition they somehow know what you’re truly wants to become.


Bruce Lee:

A great example of the commitment, Bruce Lee badly injured his back during a weight training exercise in 1970 doctors told him he would not be able to continue his lifestyle in the martial arts, but through his dedication and determination, he got fully recovered and become a star of Hollywood between 1971 and 1973.

Do not allow negative thoughts to enter your mind for they are weeds that strangle confidence.

Bruce Lee

List can go on and on but I have take a break here. I have tried to bring all the essential information related to my topic. I hope it will be helpful to you to be more optimistic about your life and goals. I am always open to any suggestions and questions; feel free to contact me through the mail.

You can also go through with my previous post

“How to get success in your life in 7 easy steps”

Little efforts make a great result

Goal setting strategies

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Be happy, Be safe.